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There's a thin line between love and hate. But if you look deep into the eyes of your lover, and draw that line with a meat cleaver, I think we all know which side you're on.
There's an equally thin line between genius and insanity, so whenever I have a difficult math problem, I strip naked and cover myself in peanut butter, singin' "Freebird" until I know the answer. Or until the cops come. It did make my college algebra class more interesting, though.
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Isn't "post-modern" just "the future"?
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I decided to hate white people. Because no one will ever sue me for it.
If I hate black people, Latinos, Jews, Asians... that's racist, and it's wrong.
But if I hate white people... THAT shit's understandable. That's something we ALL can really get behind.
And I love that every other race stands up for their heritage. I'm black, and I'm proud! I love being Latino! But if a white guy ever stands up and says "Hey, you know what? I'm white, and that's fantastic!" We have to look at them and just say "shhhhhhh... *waving disapproving finger* No, no, no, no... that's not cool. You had your chance. Just.. *motion that they need to sit the fuck down*"
We had our chance to say things like that, and we took it too far.
Roman civilization was pretty much based on the idea of racial supremacy. All their gods looked Caucasian... the leader was a dude in a robe who wore little plants on his head... in fact, if you look at a picture of Zeus, then a modern depiction of the Christian god, it's like two twins finding each other on Unsolved Mysteries after 2000 years.
But you had to tell them their god was your god, and that you'd work for them, or things didn't go so well.
"Do you accept our Sovereign Emperor as your god among men, and swear your fealty to Rome, to be taxed by our government, and all your future families forced to do whatever we tell you to do?"
"No."
*Stab*
"How about you?"
"Uh, fuck... yeah, sure, I guess."
Then after the fall of Rome, a period of confusion as the medieval age took form. Other regions became stronger and larger in number, then white guys were starting to make a comeback, gaining some ground back, and eventually leading to... the Crusades?!?
"Do you accept our god as your god above all others?"
"No."
*Stab*
*mumbling* Mother fucker.
Fast forward a few hundred years, Britain has tamed a lot of the modern world, some half-drunk white guys all move to a brand new country, unclaimed, undiscovered, and... filled with shitloads of these pesky red people.
"Hello, we're the Puritans. We'd like to take your land. Will you let us?"
"No."
"Will you at least accept that our god is better than your gods?"
"No."
*smallpox*
*gunshot*
As you can see, I think we had our chance. *shhhhhhh*
Even today, there are still white people out there, acting like racism is just the way to go.
"Whites are superior, and we must keep our bloodlines pure!"
"Actually, um... stereotypically speaking, Asians are smarter and harder-working, Latinos are better dancers and lovers, and black people are better athletes with bigger reproductive organs. That really doesn't leave much to choose from. Genocide, maybe. Being assholes because we can get sunburns. And keeping bloodlines pure is a pretty fancy term for "inbreeding", which may explain why you're a bunch of dumb small-dicked rednecks.
White supremacists, though, will all try to defend their choice the same way: "We're God's chosen race!"
Uhhhh.... no you're not. They're called "the Jews", and if you could read, you'd know it even says that in your bible.
Some will still tell you, with a straight face, that Jesus and god are white, and pretty sure they look like young and old pictures of Ted Nugent.
Jesus was Jewish. He lived in and around... a desert. He was outside ALL THE TIME. Dude was, at the very least, a very robust shade of "not white".
I feel bad for Obama. We finally give a brotha a chance, but only after 8 years of George W. ... that's gotta be like gettin a hand-me-down toy from the retarded epileptic kid next door.
"HahhAhnhuhuhuhHAHAHAANHGH!!!!.... BUSTID ET! Is BROGEN NAO!! HANAHANAHNNAHAHANAHNHAA!!!" *smash bang SLAM crash THUD*
It's like the worst racist practical joke, ev-er.
GW - "We knew y'all'd get it evenchooly, so we figger we'd just beat the holy hell out of it first. See if Hope can Change that, brother, henh henh henh."
O (mumbling) - "That mother fucker. Lucky I'm a civilized man... do this shit in Chi-town, somebody'd beat your ass with a baseball bat..."
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I had a lot of trouble coming up with a good April Fool's joke this year. I tried one; I invited my neighbor over for a steak dinner, and he asked if he should bring anything, and I was like, "Yeah, man, you could bring a green bean casserole, or a dessert or something. You know, anything." And he said "Sounds good," and I was like, "alright, man, see you later," and then when he showed up, I shot him. *BANG* "April Fool's hahahahaha..."
He didn't laugh NEARLY as hard as I did. he just kept screaming "WTF!!! Call the ambulance!!! Why'd you shoot me! Jesus!! CALL THE AMBULANCE!!"
*Dialing* "Don't be like that, man, it's just a joke."
20 minutes later, he's bleeding out, moaning "jjeeesh, man, I'm gettin' cold... I hear sirens... is that the ambulance?"
"Naw, man, I didn't call the ambulance. I was talkin to my girlfriend. APRIL FOOL!!"
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